Willamena the Rescued Hen to Will Arnett: Stop Humane-Washing the Egg Industry!

For Immediate Release:
April 22, 2024

Contact:
Moira Colley 202-483-7382

Will, you Arnett getting it! Because Will Arnett has claimed in advertisements on the podcast SmartLess that birds used in the egg industry—in which chickens are packed into warehouses and slaughtered as soon as their egg production drops—“live their best hen lives,” PETA has rescued a hen from a farm in Oregon. The bird, who the group named Willamena, will actually live her best life at a sanctuary—and has now sent a letter to Arnett encouraging him to stop humane-washing the egg industry.

Willamena receiving medical treatment after being rescued by PETA

“Behind the glossy marketing lies a stark reality—one of warehouses crammed with 20,000 of us … It’s all a sham to make more money while treating us like egg-laying machines,” writes Willamena. “By choosing to go vegan, you can join the flock of compassionate folks working toward a better world for all sentient beings. Chickens don’t clap, but if you do swear off being a shill for the cruel egg industry that would have killed me, I just might.”

PETA—whose motto reads, in part, that “animals are not ours to eat”—points out that Every Animal Is Someone and offers free Empathy Kits for people who need a lesson in kindness. For more information, please visit PETA.org or follow the group on X, Facebook, or Instagram.

Willamena’s letter to Arnett follows.

April 22, 2024

Dear Mr. Arnett:

My name is Willamena, and I was rescued from an egg farm last week—otherwise, I would have been killed. I’m named after you—yes, you. I couldn’t wait to peck out a few words with some help from my friends at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). After hearing your recent promotion of the Happy Egg Co., I wanted to tell you what really happens to us on these “free-range” egg farms and beg you to stop humane-washing the egg industry.

First, I’m a big fan of your SmartLess podcast. Your wit is as sharp as a hen’s beak (though a portion of the beaks of Happy Eggs hens are seared off, which they euphemistically call “beak trimming”), and your banter with Jason and Sean always leaves me chuckling. But Will, you Ar net realizing yet that the egg industry is not all clucks and giggles.

Behind the glossy marketing lies a stark reality—one in which warehouses are crammed with 20,000 of us who only have “access” to the outdoors—“access” that can be revoked during ever more frequent severe weather or avian flu outbreaks. Then there is the systematic killing of male chicks deemed “useless” to the industry at the hatcheries where they breed us and the mass-killing of us older hens as soon as our egg production drops, which is what would have happened to me if I hadn’t been rescued just in time. “Cage free” and “free range” might sound nice, but they’re really just words to make people pay more for eggs that are still causing us chickens to suffer. It’s all a sham to make more money while treating us like egg-laying machines. To call our eggs “happy” is absurd.

Will, you have a gob to do—stop humane-washing and embrace vegan options like tofu scrambles, chickpea omelets, and other delicious vegan egg products on the market these days—trust me, they’re eggstraordinary for your health, the planet, and your conscience. By choosing to go vegan, you could join the flock of compassionate folks working toward a better world for all living, feeling beings. Chickens don’t clap, but if you do swear off being a shill for the cruel egg industry that would have killed me, I just might.

As I embark on my journey to a sanctuary, I do so with hope in my heart—hope that you Will make a positive change.

With feathers crossed,

Willamena