Naked David Cross: ‘Wear Your Own Fur’

We can’t begin to tell you how excited we were when Arrested Development and Mr. Show’s David Cross got naked for us! The kind-hearted comedian recently bared his bod for a mantastic new ad aimed at exposing the cruelty behind every fur coat. Although he drew the line at being genitally electrocuted like animals on fur farms are, dedicated David did try to better understand the pain of these animals by using double-sided tape to cover his naughty bits when he worked the runway for our cameras. Youch! (Sorry ladies, the discarded tape was promptly sold on eBay). But rest assured, the fur found on this sexy souvenir is the only type of fur you’ll see on the funny man—his own. David’s just not down with fur hags parading around in pelts.

No joke: People who wear animal fur look stupid. We aren’t cave-dwelling knuckle-draggers any more, and the furry 1950s are over. So unless you’ve been stuck in a bomb shelter or frozen in a glacier, there’s no excuse to wear any animal fur! Most people agree that wearing fur is wrong. And don’t let fashion magazines or the media tell you any different—they’ll tell you that “cute” mukluks are a must-have, but they’ll leave out the part about how the bunnies killed for the boots scream in agony as they are skinned alive. That’s right—skinned alive! No federal laws protect animals on fur farms. And don’t even get us started on the hideous way that animals are trapped and clubbed in the wild for their fur.

Forget about the so-called “comeback” of fur. That’s just the propaganda of pelt-peddlers who are desperately trying to resuscitate a cruel industry on its way out. Synthetic alternatives are what’s in now! Faux furs are hip, humane, and easily available—and they don’t turn animals into fashion victims! The fur industry deserves to be put out of its misery—so tell fashion-magazine editors who promote fur to go and genitally electrocute themselves. And—just like David—flaunt your own fur!