Get Well Soon, Mayor Stubbs!

Maybe he was a yellow-dog Democrat feeling disenfranchised in a town run by a fat cat from the Grand Old Purrty. We may never know the identity of the would-be assassin, but his attack on Talkeetna, Alaska’s Mayor Stubbs put the beloved leader in the hospital with a 5-inch gash on his side, a punctured lung, and a fractured sternum. Mayor Stubbs—so named for his lack of a tail (did we mention that he’s a cat?)—is still hospitalized but is showing signs of improvement.

PETA has sent hizzoner a “get well” card, and PETA is also urging Stubbs’ “chief of staff,” Lauri Stec, who got Stubbs “elected” to the honorary post 16 years ago, to prevent an untimely coup by advising Mayor Stubbs to stay closer to his “office” from now on. We recommend that, if he must leave for official business, he wear a leash and harness and be accompanied by a member of his entourage at all times.

Even lower-profile cats than Mayor Stubbs face numerous dangers outside, including cars, cruel people, contagious diseases, rat poison, toxic antifreeze spills, and, as Stubbs learned, attacks by dogs and wildlife. But cats can be perfectly happy running the world from the safety of an executive mansion, especially when provided with toys, scratching posts and “trees,” catnip and cat grass, and large windows or screened porches from which to survey their domain.

Along with our best wishes, we’ve also sent Mayor Stubbs a care package that includes PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk’s book 250 Things You Can Do to Make Your Cat Adore You, which is full of tips on how to keep cats happy, comfy, and safe.

We hope the people of Talkeetna will have their esteemed meowor back on his paws in no time.