Free Veggie Burgers!

Earlier this month, it was announced that Dan Snyder, who owns the greatest football team in the world, has purchased Johnny Rockets, which happens to make the greatest fast-food veggie burger in the world. To celebrate this match made in heaven for vegetarian football fans, PETA has teamed up with Johnny Rockets to give away coupons for free Streamliner veggie burgers throughout the month of March. In the interests of full disclosure here, there are some strings attached, in the sense that you have to buy one first before you get your free one, but it’s still a pretty sweet deal—besides, if you can’t eat two veggie burgers in a sitting, other vegetarians will think you’re a sissy, and nobody wants that. Also, while we’re being honest with each other, I totally made up all that stuff about PETA doing this because of the Washington Redskins connection. I just got overexcited and carried away, and I’m sorry. How about I make it up to you with a free veggie burger?