Denny’s Poo-Like Sausage Mascot Is the Epitome of Truth in Advertising

People are noticing that Denny’s new sausage mascot bears a striking resemblance to fedora-wearing poo. And while the internet is busy giving the restaurant crap, PETA doesn’t want it to can the idea. In fact, we think Denny’s should be flush with pride over one of the most truthful ad campaigns ever.

As it turns out, if you’re eating sausage, you really are full of shit. When pigs are cut open during slaughter, their feces gets everywhere—including on the flesh that’s consumed by meat-eaters. So Denny’s sausage doo-doo is showing what people who eat sausage really do do. PETA Senior Vice President Dan Mathews sent a letter to Denny’s CEO John C. Miller praising the chain for its truth in advertising:

Dear Mr. Miller,

PETA would like to break away from the pack of those who are smearing you and congratulate you on the resemblance of Denny’s sausage character to feces. If there were ever truth in advertising, this is it. As this Vice report on the Government Accountability Project states, because of high-speed hog inspection practices, “it’s not whether or not people are going to eat shit—they are. It’s just how much.” As I’m sure you know, slaughterhouses are so filthy that every serving of sausage contains traces of pig poop—not to mention horrific cruelty. One way to wipe the plate clean would be to switch to vegan sausages.

Sincerely,

Dan Mathews

Meat is always crappy to human bodies and to animals. So grab a vegan sausage, and flush the cruelty out of your breakfast.