Aliens Want You

We have met the enemy and the enemy is … E.T.? At least, that’s what astrophysicist Stephen Hawking says. He warns that extraterrestrials could be like … well, like humans, who never seem to have met an “alien” life form that they didn’t want to capture, enslave, experiment on, or even eat alive.

Inspired by Hawking’s warning, we’re running this ad in Roswell, New Mexico—the location of the alleged and legendary (“allegendary”?) alien crash-landing and the setting of numerous X-Files episodes—as a reminder that being abducted by “superior beings” for experiments is real for animals in laboratories.

NASA space capsules reportedly read, “We Come in Peace,” on the side, but as PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk has pointed out, judging by the way we treat the other beings with whom we share this planet, they should continue, “Unless You’re Less Powerful Than We Are, in Which Case You’re Lunch!” Here’s hoping that E.T. does as Earthlings say, not as we do, and that we’ll soon see the error of our ways.

Written by Alisa Mullins