Five Great Things About Rising Fuel Costs

I know what you’re thinking: There’s an upside to rising fuel costs? We won’t see it at the fuel pump or in the grocery story, but perhaps there really is a silver lining—and not just for the Saudis and the speculators.

This isn’t news to loyal readers of The PETA Files, but fattening and killing animals so that we can eat them is wildly inefficient, to say nothing of gross. It uses up a lot of grain and fuel. With the prices of corn—which makes up 60 percent of turkey feed—and fuel going through the roof, some factory farms and slaughterhouses have started cutting production.

A turkey slaughterhouse in Utah is putting operations on hold for three months, and the turkey breeders, turkey hatcheries, and other operations that supply turkeys to the slaughterhouse will be cutting back on production. Over one million turkeys—”smart animals with personality and character,” in the words of Oregon State University poultry scientist Tom Savage—will be saved. Check out the letter that we sent to the farm today asking it to consider stopping turkey production all together!

Here are five more good things about rising fuel costs:

1. Squid fishers suspended fishing for two days to protest rising fuel costs. Don’t let any dopey people shrug their shoulders and think, “So what?” When you can, show them this mind-blowing video about squids’ satin-smooth seduction moves.
2. Later this month, 230,000 Japanese fisherman will strike over fuel prices. Sushi lovers fear shortages of tuna sushi and sashimi, but vegan sushi is delicious and doesn’t require that the seas be fished until they’re devoid of all life. Win-win.
3. A rash of gas thefts across the nation might inspire reward money for nabbing criminals caught siphoning gas. Crime is bad. Reward money for catching criminals is good.
4. With airlines now charging for checked bags and soda, there’s speculation that they might start charging by weight, which could inspire more people to go vegetarian.
5. And leave it to our friends in Boulder, Colorado, to strip down to the basics and wheel out the fun with a caravan of naked bicyclists. The cyclists’ message? Depending too much on oil is nuts.